15072021                                                                                                                                    KHAMIS

Hi... 

This is my first post. I hope this will help be better.

It is currently 1.45 P.M, I have a lot of work to finish up but i have zero motivation to do any of it. I have zero thing on my mind. i don't even drink water like i used too. i dont get excited with manga. Day by day, i'm losing interest in almost everything. Maybe this is the dying but living. I dont care whether i have eaten or not, whether i'm dehydrates. Yes i should be grateful, i got roof on my head, got clean drinking water, i got friends who cares. NO BUT. My life is a blessing but why do i feel like shit. Why it is easier for me to care about people around me than my ownself. what is my self worth. why can't i love myself as how i love people around me. why can't i put my happiness toward thing and people. At the end of the day, only me will stuck with this non stop voice saying, im nothing, im worthless, people will continue to abandon you. The world always said dont live your life for other. Growing up that what i was teach, it is in my thought and my action. Always live according the majority standard. Always care about people mind. I hate it, as much as i hate it. I'm having trouble to run from. I keep saying idgaf about what they said, I'm lying. I'm scared on how people view me, i'm scare whether my presence disturb them and most importantly i'm scare of being letdown again.